So, I return home from a day’s work and check the mail to find an official looking yellow envelope labelled “2012 Obama Agenda Survey | Republican National Committee” and “Questionnaire enclosed | Do Not Destroy”. With boundless enthusiasm, I tossed it on the kitchen table and ignored it till this morning.

Upon opening the important documentation, I discovered a 1 page survey, a return envelope, and a 2 page letter from the RNC, which I will now share with you.

————

Dear Friend (ed. that’s an awfully big assumption),

Your immediate action is required.

[ a boiler plate with a confirmation number which I am removing for privacy]

You know the liberal media elites and the Obama Democrats are hoping you will put this letter down right now and do nothing…

…They want you to believe the liberal lies, desert your Party and walk away from your conservative principles. But I know that like me, you are proud of our core principles of limited government, free enterprise, strong national security and moral decency. And you want to fight for them.

As Chairman of the Republican National Committee, I’m asking you to please, join with me today and we WILL move our Party forward, to overwhelming victories this November.

By working together now, we can lay the groundwork to stop Barack Obama.

We need to maintain our Majority in the U.S. House, take control of the U.S. Senate and send Barack Obama into retirement so our nation can move forward, under conservative Republican leadership, to renewed prosperity and strengthened security.

The millions of voters who don’t believe that higher taxes and more government spending in Washington DC are the key to our nation’s future must unite and work together to elect leadership that serves the people, instead of expecting people to serve the government.

[instructions about the survey, its importance, mailing intructions, etc, then we get into the meaty part]

There is so much about the Obama Agenda and his record that most Americans do not know, thanks to the non-stop, swooning coverage of the ultra-biased media. (ed. Here we go…)

But with our help, we are going to expose the Obama Agenda for all Americans to draw the bright line in the sand to contrast and point a better way for America to go.

We must unite NOW and move forward to gain TOTAL control of the federal government in November — Majorities in both chambers of Congress and a new Republican President.

The results of this survey are critical to help build momentum and show independent voters that regardless of what the left wing media is saying, there is NOT overwhelming support for the radical policies and agenda being put forward by Obama and the Democrats. (ed. I’m thinking my survey isn’t going to help them much in this regard)

Thats why we are asking where you stand on Barack Obama’s nonstop effort to raise taxes… (ed. all for it)

… On his proposals to add trillions of dollars to the national debt… (ed. why was this not a problem when the GOP did it fighting 2 wars?)

… And how do you feel about Obama’s callous disregard for the will of the American people and the best interests of our economy when he and the Democrats passed the ObamaCare plan to put 1/6 of our economy under the control of federal bureaucrats? (ed. Oddly rage free I would have to say)

These have been and continue to be Obama’s top priorities! (ed. Adding to the National Debt was a priority all by itself?)

He wants to keep trying to bring about “change” that will continue to undercut economic growth, undermine our nation’s sovereignty and create massive new government bureaucracies.

That’s why we don’t have a moment to waste.

[repeat of importance of the survey, please turn it in ASAP, etc]

You and I know that Obama and the Democrats are trying to walk away from the horrible record of failed leadership (ed. but enough about the Bush years, I kid) and radical liberal policies they accumulated during 2009 and 2010 when they had TOTAL control of the federal government…

…While millions of Americans lost their jobs and our economy sputtered along, Pelosi, Reid and the Democrats spent over a year and a half debating how to pass a government takeover of the healthcare system… (ed. If they had total control, what was there to debate? They would have simply passed their first draft.)

… They spent nearly a TRILLION dollars on a failed stimulus package that did not create jobs or slow rising unemployment.

…They pushed for the passage of draconian “cap and trade” energy bill that would have created a huge new national energy tax and crushed the competitiveness of American businesses. (ed Again, if they had total control, who did they have to push against, they would have just passed it.)

We must not let Obama and the Democrats run away from their record! (ed. of made up shit we’re accusing them of.)

But its going to take a great deal of dedication — and money (ed. THERE IT IS!) for Republicans to keep the bright light of truth shining on Obama and the Democrats (ed. because they sure as hell don’t want it shining on Republicans)

[some statistics on 2008 election fundraising]

To help level the playing field for Republican candidates, the RNC is reaching out and organizing the millions of outraged and concerned Americans to take action. And as the Party’s official national “umbrella” organization, the RNC is also building a formidable campaign war chest to help…

…This is critical because the RNC is the ONLY Republican Party organization that can legally provide direct financial assistance to our Party’s Presidential nominee.

That’s why I’m asking you to return a contribution to the Republican National Committee for $30, $50, $100, $250 or even $500 along with the Obama Agenda Survey in the postage-paid envelope provided (ed. I fear I’m going to disappoint them at many levels)

The Republican National Committee will use your contribution to rally Republicans, Independents and disaffected Democrats who do not support the radical left-wing Obama Agenda to come together and speak with a single, loud, clear voice.

We cannot afford to wait until the final weeks of the campaign. We need you to make a commitment to vote Republican, but we also need your activism and support on behalf of our national campaign effort. (ed. again with the disappointment)

If you don’t like the direction that Obama and the Democrats are taking our country, then the single most important action you can take is to come forward and support the Republican National Committee today.

It is clear that the biased media is going to echo Barack Obama’s bogus blame-game of pointing fingers at everyone and everything to tray and explain his failed leadership… (ed. is that anything like the game where you point at a biased media to blame for all your failures?)

… That’s why I need you and every concerned American to band together as members of the RNC to give voice to your concerns and help elect candidates who will fight for the best interests of ALL Americans. (ed. except gays, minorities, women, single parents, and non-Evangelicals)

I am personally asking you to play a very important role in our resurgent effort by returning your completed 2012 Obama Agenda Survey to the Republican National Committee along with a contribution of $30, $50, $100, $250 or even $500.

We are offering America a new direction, based on our conservative principles and free market ideals. (ed. since when was backwards a new direction?)

We want to turn away from the creeping socialism and divisive class-warfare promoted by Obama and the Democrats to bring people together and move our country forward. (ed. in other words, they want the peasants to get back in their shanties)

The RNC is leading our Party’s campaign to elect a Senate Majority, maintain our U.S. House Majority and expand Republican representation at all levels — And we are the ONLY organization that federal law allows to directly assist the campaign of the Republican Presidential nominee.

Failure is not an option. There is simply too much at stake.

If Obama has another four years as President, he may be able to do irreversible damage to our economy, our security, our values and our American way of life. (ed. DOGS AND CATS LIVING TOGETHER, MASS HYSTERIA!)

And that’s why we must unite and work towards across-the-board Republican victory in 2012!

So please, take a few minutes to read and complete your REGISTERED copy of the 2012 Obama Agenda Survey, then make your check or write your credit card information in the space provided for your contribution of $30, $50, $100, $250 or even $500 to the Republican National Committee, place it in the postage-paid envelope included and mail it right away (ed. well, I’m mailing them back the survey, that should make them a little happy, right?)

The future of our country depends on the activism and support of patriotic citizens like you all across the country. We must come together, focus our energy, pool our resources (ed. COMMUNISM!) and work to take back our country from Obama and the Democrats. Please act now.

Sincerely,
Reince Priebus, Chairman, Republican National Committee

[with a PS saying don’t forget to send money]

Onto they survey! All the questions are framed Yes, No, or No Opinion

1) Do you believe that Barack Obama’s economic polices have made the economy better?

2) Do you believe that Barack Obama deserves a second term as President?

3) Do you agree with Barack Obama and the Democrats that taxes should be raised for the sake of “fairness,” regardless of the negative impact it has on the economy? (ed. Thats making the assumption that taxes are always bad for the economy, nice misleading question)

4) Do you support passage of a Balanced Budget Amendment to the U.S. Constitution?

5) Do you support amnesty for illegal immigrants?

6) Should improving border security be a national security priority? (ed. another bad question, are they talking about actual security, keeping out drugs and weapons or just talking about more immigration agents?)

7) Are you in favor of granting retroactive Social Security eligibility to illegal immigrants who gain U.S. citizenship through an amnesty program?

8) Should Congress act to preserve the fiscal soundness of Social Security, even if it means raising the age of eligibility, setting income limits and providing opt-out, private accounts for younger individuals?

9) Do you believe that measures should be put in place to make it easier to impeach federal judges who legislate from the bench in direct conflict with the original intent of the Constitution? (ed I don’t think the original intent of the Constitution meant to have the Legislature undermine the powers of the Judiciary)

10) Do you believe that the best way to increase the quality and effectiveness of public education in the U.S. is to expand federal funding while eliminating performance standards and accountability? (ed. Do they mean giving schools the resources to actually teach kids instead of getting them to pass meaningless standardized tests?)

11) Do you believe that President Obama and the Democrats intend for their ObamaCare national health insurance plan to lead to a federal takeover of all health insurance administration with “single-payer” coverage?

12) Do you believe that the quality and availability of healthcare will increase if the federal government dictates pricing to doctors and hospitals?

13) Are you in favor of repealing ObamaCare?

14) Are you in favor of creating a national energy tax to force citizens and businesses to adopt costly “green” technology? (ed. no bias in that question at all)

15) Do you believe President Obama has made job creation a top priority of his Administration?

16) Do you support the Obama Administration’s efforts to bring foreign terrorist detainees into U.S. Federal courts rather than using military tribunals for their trials? (ed. I’m assuming you mean the ones he doesn’t have killed by the Navy Seals or CIA drones)

17) Do you support Democrats’ drive to eliminate workers’ rights to a private ballot when considering unionization of their place of employment?

And the remainder of the survey form is the space for me to contribute my donation to the RNC and to volunteer my time during the campaign.

I think I’ll leave that part blank.